It has been a while since I’ve sent out a book review because I haven’t found a book worth sharing until I read Loving What Is, by Byron Katie. It is fresh and clear and worth sharing with you.

In celebrating my seventh year of private practice, I noticed that of all the books I’ve read, Loving What Is has made it into my daily life and practice. She calls it “The Work,” and it enables you to see what is bothering you in a whole new way – giving clarity to the muddle we create from the stories we carry and repeat to ourselves.

How to break this cycle that creates pain and depression? How to find peace and clarity? Joy? One good way is to allow yourself to confront the very thoughts and beliefs that are so difficult. Then watch the thoughts let you go, not the other way around.

Often the practice of “sitting” and “mindfulness” is with the intention (or hope!) of letting go of thoughts and patterns that don’t serve you. What if you turn the tables and ask these four potent questions?

1. Is it true?
   
2. Can I absolutely know that it’s true?
   
3. How do I react when I think that thought?
   
4. Who would I be without that thought?
   

The last question resonates the most with me. Try a little test to challenge (gently!) yourself. As you are busily chewing on a thought, opinion, or belief ask yourself if what you are thinking is true. Pause. Then ask who would you be without that thought. Byron Katie invites you to go much deeper in this inquiry.

It’s powerful and as you begin to prefer being with yourself without some of your thoughts, a sense of expansion and creativity is possible. As Ms. Katie says, “Everyone is a mirror image of yourself – your own thinking coming back at you.”

This process can’t be rushed, and all the shifts and changes happen right on time and not a moment before or later. It’s fun and surprising as you get used to it – ALL your thoughts are suitable for inquiry!

“The very purpose of our life is to be happy.” So says His Holiness the Dalai Lama in the introduction to Be the Change, by Ed and Deb Shapiro. This is a book solely about meditation and interwoven among the authors’ own thoughts are the fascinating words of more than one hundred meditation practitioners from various walks of life. The stories fit well together and bring meditation into a vital realm of our lives. For those of you who can’t figure out why meditation really matters at all, (be honest!) this is a good read. You can dip in and out, opening the book at random to see what insights are there for you at that moment.

It’s illuminating and surprising to read the words of Jane Fonda, who describes her challenges to calm her mind extending until she turned 70! Imagery and technique covers the range from Jane Fonda imagining a chandelier hanging from the middle of her head to the esoteric, reverent, and magical.

This book, with so much input from interesting people, makes meditation our friend and true companion in life.  I appreciate Marianne Williamsen’s response to Einstein’s statement that we cannot solve the problems of the world from the level of thinking that we were at when we created them. She writes, “A different level of thinking means a different level of thinking. It doesn’t mean a different kind of thinking. It doesn’t mean a different emphasis in our thinking. It does not mean a more loving kind of thinking. It means what Einstein said, a different level of thinking, and to me, that is what meditation brings.”
Be the Change explores the sanity and brilliance of meditation and how it affects many aspects of our personal lives. The authors make a strong case for meditation changing the world for the better. It’s a joy to find such thoughtful people writing on the importance of facing and controlling our minds and egos. It’s like a party where the great poets, writers and thinkers of the world have been invited, and you get to spend time with each of them!

There are practical chapters on sitting meditation, sounding meditation and moving meditation. Most importantly, this book is a call to all of us that we can, must, and will be the change we want to see in our world.

Be the Change is eloquent and shows in many ways the true benefits of a meditation practice. Being able to keep our peace and maintain an even, balanced state is one of the true benefits of meditation and can be used in all areas of your life. It’s the ultimate tool for energetic health.

“I am aware of something in myself whose shine is my reason. I see clearly that something is there, but what it is I cannot understand. But it seems to me that, if I could grasp it, I should know all truth.” Anonymous

For this celebration of the final months of 2010, I’ve chosen a clearly written and wise book for our online book club. “Elegant Choices, Healing Choices,” by Marsha Sinetar, is subtitled, “Finding Grace and Wholeness in Everything We Choose.”

The writer, author of several books, believes each of us can grow whole as persons. She believes that each of us can use our daily choices, even the most insignificant, to help us along this path. The use of the word, elegant, caught my eye. What does she mean by that? You’d better look fantastic while making your life choices? Her explanation inspired me, and felt true.

Her proposition to the reader is that the elegant choice, made with the intention of grace and naturalness, enables us to become increasingly individuated. As we sensitize ourselves to our underlying motives and habit patterns, then we can teach ourselves to make productive choices as a way of life.

We all observe ourselves, even if we do so unconsciously. We always, each and every time, notice when we choose wisely. The psychoanalyst Karen Horner taught that each time we choose in an elevated way, supporting our highest values, we “register” this, and give ourselves credit. When we choose poorly, we “register” this too, and punish ourselves. This concept is the underpinning of the author’s work.

I believe that, and have seen the ramifications of these in my clients. What to do with all the poor choices we’ve made and no doubt will continue to make? We must love ourselves and forgive others (sound familiar?). If we can simply accept ourselves when we know we have chosen unwisely and make a course correction, we can grow into fully human beings. Plainly stated, stay awake about choice making.

There is so much to learn from this book about how we humans resist our own good. It’s a good stepping-stone for all of us who are growing towards our best selves, myself included. It’s a page-turner to me, although a bit densely written in places. I’m forgiving myself for skipping over a few bits.

As this year is winding down, it my hope for all of us to become even more graceful and conscious choice makers. 

My intention as an intuitive is to contribute what I can to encourage all of us, myself included, to live from their authentic selves. When I find a book that helps us along that road I like to share it.

“Your Sixth Sense: Unlocking the Power of Your Intuition”, by Belleruth Naparstek, is an excellent and sophisticated guidebook on how to recognize, cultivate, and direct the natural gift we are all born with: the sixth sense. She’s a psychotherapist and she uses her intuitive capabilities in tandem with her training to really discern what she’s hearing from her clients. It’s gratifying to read that her moments of wisdom are always guided by her sixth sense.

I’m always drawn to books that are down to earth and offer practical ways to access and decode intuitive “hits.” This book offers dozens of examples of this but most importantly for me, the underlying agenda of “The Sixth Sense” is that these skills can open the door to a life that includes inspiration, generosity and kindness.

Her chapter headings are indicative of her practical thinking: “How People Come to be Psychic,” “Letting It Happen,” and “Specific Things You Can Do to Cultivate and Maintain Psi.” Her chapters range from the psychology of how boundaries expand when we feel love, to abstract but absorbing physics concepts. There’s something for our brains that love information, something for those who want to expand their view of how the universe works, and lots of stories that might be instantly familiar to any of us and make us think, “Hey, that happened to me!”

Our sixth sense is enhanced and enabled by an open and empathic heart. There are many interviews with intuitives from all over the country and they have a fascinating resonance around the magic moment when an open hearted healer can deeply contribute to the healing of another. I love those stories.

For those of you with a strong sense of your intuitive abilities, the sections about HOW to interpret (don’t!) and how to report the information you are receiving are excellent.

As we close this year, it is my hope for all of you that your sixth sense and deep knowing flourish and nurture you. The winter solstice in December with its message of restoration, reflection and renewal is a perfect time to allow a more intimate connection with your own sixth sense.

I enjoy passing on the names of books that have that rare combination of wisdom, humor, and an original viewpoint of “the big questions.” In this spring review for our online book club, I’ve chosen When You’re Falling, Dive, by Mark Matousek.
 
As an accomplished memoirist, he turns his attention from his own story outward for this book and asks the question, is there an art to survival? Then, he proceeds to travel the world looking for stories and wisdom from regular people and from masters like Ram Dass. He is often in extraordinary relationships with these people; he was asked to interpret and write the book Ram Dass wrote after his stroke. He made sense of the difficult communications from Ram Dass and the result was, Still Here. There are conversations with Eckhart Tolle, Jungian pioneer James Hillman, Joan Didion, Byron Katie, Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence, and many other fascinating people.

Importantly, he’s funny and not perfect! He’s so real while engaging with and interviewing all sorts of people and their stories that I looked forward to each chapter. He finds ways to communicate the truth of what concepts like forgiveness mean for real people in real situations. And then there’s uncertainty – how do some blossom while others fall apart or stay in a frozen limbo?

So, what’s in it for us? Why read about someone else’s challenges and fears? My answer would be that this book is about spiritual power and how to name it and experience it. As Ram Dass tells the author, “Behind the machinations of our brilliant, undependable minds is an essence that is not conditional, he says. “A being that aging does not alter, to which nothing can be added and from which nothing can be taken away.”

The opening question in the book is, “how do you live?” The following pages attempt to answer it while acknowledging the truth that transformation and epiphanies happen at the intersection of life and death. But seriously, it’s a fun read and I laughed often!

One of the highlights of my summer was serving as a teaching assistant at a workshop called “The Language of Intuition,” at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, New York. The workshop, taught by Dr. Francesca McCartney, founder of the Academy of Intuition Medicine in Sausalito CA., was a sampling of the material in her book, Body of Health. I trained with Dr. McCartney and this review showcases her book which should be a foundation for anyone building a healthy, balanced, and fulfilling life

The major building blocks of developing your ability to listen to your intuitive intelligence are described in great detail, with exercises that move from theory to integration. Since all of you have worked with me, do you remember my focus on grounding from the first moment we begin? Body of Health shows you myriad ways to de-code what it really means to be grounded and how vitally important it is. Grounding to the earth is an integral part of the practice of living in health and balance. We are constantly exchanging energy and information, and an overload of this is called stress. It’s an over used word, but the depletion is real and there are many ways to manage it. The author describes herself as an “energy technician,” and my goal for you all is to have full toolboxes of resources for the inevitable challenges to your mental, physical and spiritual health. These are complex systems that make up the human experience and there is a beauty of enhancing wisdom through experiential exercises in the areas of your life force, aura, and chakra system. For those who want to start a meditation practice, there is a very comprehensive section on just how to do that.

I have client who, when asked to set an intention for our work together said, “I want to trust myself.” How wise of her. We are working with, reading about, and identifying your subtle energies and Body of Health gives a very clear blueprint. Trust opens up when understanding opens up, and this book contributes towards understanding.

A review of “The Tibetan Book of the Dead,” doesn’t seem very spring-like at first, but this book is such a powerful lesson on living well that I was drawn to it. In all honesty, just reading the introduction by His Holiness the Dalai Lama gives a complete and profound view of the great question of whether there is life after death. It encompasses all phases of the end of life, including an inspirational view off bereavement.

 This is a Buddhist perspective and yet there are strong parallels with other schools of thought, especially regarding the existence of a “soul” as a part of being a person. For Buddhists, this notion of soul is merely another aspect of the inextricably joined elements of body and mind. However, all of the generalized terms of after life, karma, and rebirth are seriously reviewed and explained. This is not light reading; in fact, in re-reading it I am reminded that I perhaps didn’t absorb as much as I thought the first time around!

The other fascinating aspect of this book is the extremely detailed explanation of what happens before and during actual death. The stages of the end of life are laid out in such detail that it reminds one that death has been observed and chronicled for a very long time. His Holiness the Dalai Lama says that “death is the point at which both the physical and mental fields dissolve into inner radiance and where both consciousness and energy exist at their most subtle non-dual level, as in deep sleep.” I find that comforting, especially since I have lost two family members in the last two months.

I find that if I make friends with the end of life process I will be less afraid of it and hopefully a more useful companion to those who are moving through it. The experience of death can be understood and accepted (with conscious effort) and although spring is linked to new life and a fresh start, death can signal the same phase in a life.

This complete English translation is the work of many years of scholarship and includes one of most compelling descriptions of the after death state in world literature. It is a book to add to your library because becoming familiar with this phase of life can alleviate anxiety as you or those you love pass into it.

This book is profound and inspiring…and more than a little surprising. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could imagine feeling a bit more prepared for death when it appears in our lives? Even if just a little bit, since I even find writing about it here to be difficult.

One of the reviews of this book says, “This is a book that could serve you for a lifetime.” I couldn’t agree more.

“When Things Fall Apart,” by Pema Chodron, is a short 146 page book that is stunning in its truth and simplicity. I feel the title is not a good choice because it is such a life affirming book. This book could change your relationship to the inevitable changes that occur in life.
Chodron, an American Buddhist monk, helps us understand how our thoughts can increase our pain and confusion and cause harm in ourselves and others. She proposes many fascinating ways to stay on the brink of change and not concretize. Although we can’t avoid pain, once we realize that things come together and things fall apart, then come together again and fall apart again, there is room for healing.
We can make room in our lives for grief and joy. We don’t have to hold our breath in fear of the next change. For example, as I type these words, I know I’ll never be writing this review again – that moment has passed. Can I adjust to that? Can I accept that even with the miracle of word processing, my words are impermanent? I don’t know what will happen next, but this day will be over and I have no idea what will actually happen tomorrow.

So many of our reactions are habitual. Chodron offers several ways to observe the spinning off we do as a result of the reactions to our impulses. As she says, “Nothing is what we thought. I can say that with great confidence. Emptiness is not what we thought. Neither is mindfulness or fear.” This book, written from Western sensibilities, is an effort to calmly and concisely address the need for loving kindness towards oneself and developing from that a fearlessly compassionate attitude toward our own pain and that of others.

These are priceless teachings on honesty, kindness, and bravery. This book is profoundly relevant to the ups and downs of ordinary life. Restlessness, heat and an uncomfortable desire for escape accompanies transition. In this book, change itself is given a place to be understood and looked at with a new perspective.

As a bonus, the author is very funny! She’s warm and witty and the book comes alive with her light touch. This lightness makes it a perfect summer read. 

  I’ve discovered a book that is in alignment with this season of maximum light and growth. It’s actually a book that was first published twenty years ago and the author is now a beautiful woman in her 80’s. It’s as fresh and relevant now as it was in the 1980’s, and written while the author was in her 50’s. See, it’s never too late to heal your life!

You Can Heal Your Life is by Louise Hay, one of the notable pioneers in the human potential movement. I chose her because in the course of working with all of you, her clear view of the importance of self love keeps bubbling up in all my sessions. Like developing techniques for staying grounded and centered, self love is the foundation for healing. Those two elements are building blocks upon which anything can happen. It is the basis for creating your authentic experience. All of the negative mind chatter, doubt and fear can be traced to the earliest experiences of longing for love. Love, held in the heart center, directed towards ourselves and the wonderful uniqueness of our experience can work miracles. I have had the honor of witnessing that process with clients and it is a beautiful sight.

This book offers her style of healing. She works mainly through affirmations and simple exercises. If the timing is right, they are effective additions to your work, and if the timing is wrong, they seem silly. Pay close attention to your responses as you read, and you’ll know if this is right for you. On a personal note, I saw this book twenty years ago and thought I would rather do anything else in the world than these healing exercises. Now I am fully aware of their power. See what a difference timing makes? I took the long way in embracing this work!

One aspect of healing that Louise Hay returns to over and over again is the importance of practice, practice, practice. You are removing limiting beliefs and it’s an opportunity to treat yourself as a young child learning something new. When babies are learning to walk, do you berate them for each tumble? Of course not. Give yourself the same permission to learn something new.

After the Ecstasy, the Laundry, is by Jack Kornfield, author, meditation master, and co-founder of Spirit Rock, a meditation retreat in Marin County, California. This book is about how the modern spiritual journey unfolds. Most, if not all of you, aren’t able to spend a few years sorting things out in silence on a mountaintop. The challenges of work and family, emotional pain, and our own imperfections require most of us to stick around and make a spiritual life around “real” life. In the introduction Kornfield asks, “What happens when the Zen master returns home to spouse and children? When the Christian mystic goes shopping?”

This book, through traditional tales and individual stories, shows ways to translate the excitement of discovering your spiritual path with making peace with the necessary “laundry” of our lives. “All spiritual life is preparation for transition, from one state to another, from one circumstance to another. The ability to make wise transitions is the ability to keep a beginner’s mind. Change is not the enemy.”

Yes, the book has a Buddhist orientation, but it also draws upon Christian, Jewish, Hindu and Sufi traditions. It’s about our hearts, and how we can prepare them for a deeper experience of love and awakening. It’s about truth, and the power of truth to heal and to make sense out of some of our hardest lessons. It’s about acceptance of ourselves as we are. Yes, that!

So, I invite you to take this opportunity to read this funny and wise book and maybe even be willing to air that dirty laundry, openly and without judgment.